Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
