were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
we should paint friendship bongs
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