I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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