Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just had sex on a roof
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
