I wanna bring you to show and tell
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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