i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How's work?
Spinning.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
