dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
