Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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