ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
