well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
