I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
