elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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