k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
