watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
