i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My balls are so social today.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
