hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
