Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
