i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
