um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
