So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
