We won't sleep together?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
