So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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