dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
