I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
