What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
