My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
