Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
