I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
