he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
