i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
