i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
