Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
