i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
