So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
