i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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