yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
