at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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