Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
