Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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