i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
