i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
