I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
