So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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