I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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