idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
