This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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