so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
