I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were destined to go to rehab together
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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