We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
