Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
